I remember when I first learned about Facebook. I was a young college student working retail and still looking to solidify my place in the world. I was single, cute, and ready to take the world by storm. In my line walks a cute brotha tombout, " you on Facebook yet". I was like 'huh'. Needless to say, I hopped on this bandwagon with the swiftness of sound.
It was a popularity contest. Friend requests were sent to people who smiled at you sweetly in line a Walmart, who bumped into you and your warm overflowing bucket of popcorn at the movies, and who sat behind you in class never uttering a single syllable. But it was about the number then. The higher the better. The more Facebook friends you had, the more of a place you had in the world it seemed. "you got how many friends?" I remember when people started to get a little jealous of this wannabe politician in undergrad, the BIGGEST insult, was unfriending him. No, seriously, he had over 1000 friends, this was a BIG deal when folks started unfriending him to the point of a mere 700-800 friends.
I found myself inching into the 100's then the150's, up to the 200's and even past that point! Yes! I had found my place in the world because Facebook said so.
Fast forward some years. none of my Facebook friends commented on anything I posted, no birthday wishes or well wishes at all for that matter. I mean, what was the point I questioned? I wanted so many times to erase these friends. But that number, if it dwindled, it means that no one cared, that I was invisible, that I never existed to anyone.
But one day, I said, the hell with it. I took the time to unfriend everyone who lay silent on my wall for so many years, who never commented, thumbs upped, or cared about what I did at all. I cleaned my rollbook, and it felt good. Instead of looking at the now much lower number as a sign of unpopularity or unimportance, I looked at the number as an opportunity to start over and to gain new friends, who do comment and post, and communicate. And they do!
I would urge you, do some feng shui in your social media world. Go for quality, not quantity.
It was a popularity contest. Friend requests were sent to people who smiled at you sweetly in line a Walmart, who bumped into you and your warm overflowing bucket of popcorn at the movies, and who sat behind you in class never uttering a single syllable. But it was about the number then. The higher the better. The more Facebook friends you had, the more of a place you had in the world it seemed. "you got how many friends?" I remember when people started to get a little jealous of this wannabe politician in undergrad, the BIGGEST insult, was unfriending him. No, seriously, he had over 1000 friends, this was a BIG deal when folks started unfriending him to the point of a mere 700-800 friends.
I found myself inching into the 100's then the150's, up to the 200's and even past that point! Yes! I had found my place in the world because Facebook said so.
Fast forward some years. none of my Facebook friends commented on anything I posted, no birthday wishes or well wishes at all for that matter. I mean, what was the point I questioned? I wanted so many times to erase these friends. But that number, if it dwindled, it means that no one cared, that I was invisible, that I never existed to anyone.
But one day, I said, the hell with it. I took the time to unfriend everyone who lay silent on my wall for so many years, who never commented, thumbs upped, or cared about what I did at all. I cleaned my rollbook, and it felt good. Instead of looking at the now much lower number as a sign of unpopularity or unimportance, I looked at the number as an opportunity to start over and to gain new friends, who do comment and post, and communicate. And they do!
I would urge you, do some feng shui in your social media world. Go for quality, not quantity.