There comes a time when even those of us who have laid the best of plans, taken the necessary precautions and pretty much have "done the right thing" , find ourselves in the mirror asking God or whoever is listening, "how did this happen, and where do I go from here?".
Its been a hell-u-va summer and not necessarily in a good way. Its been hot and I have been forced to sit my all-knowing ass down and learn a thing or two about myself. There were no papers to grade, no phone calls to make, no quick errand to run, no meeting to go to. My email has been pretty empty, my calendar has been empty and hell, honestly, my bank account has been too. But I was cool, i had a job, or so I thought. and hence, my story begins, and so do the "F" bombs.
I was a teacher, notice the word was, I was a damn good teacher too. I got up with the sun and went home when the sun when the sun went down.. I was dedicated and helped my students in life, it was really beyond test scores for me, I was concerned for my students and I LOVED my job. The thanks I got? I got notified that I was a now a non-entity at the school, via email.. email. Truthfully, I knew this was coming yet, I was still pissed, saddened, , and a lot of other emotions that I cant quite explain. I had pretty much spent my whole summer thinking about this situation. It was maddening! So finally, I with my moms reassurance, and my favorite radio show, The REMIX, showing me I wasn't alone, it happened. Yep, you guessed it folks, the FUCK IT! moment. Everyone deserves to have one.
I realized, after writing in my journal for three hours, that I had resigned sooo much of myself to auctioning off hours of my time for my bills to get paid., for a paycheck . I didn't realize that I was also auctioning away my dreams. With every paycheck that deposited I was investing more and more of myself into a reality where nothing else mattered in life as long as I could pay bills. So when that reality was taken, smh, I pawned my fear for a FUCK IT! moment.
FUCK IT! moments occur when you accept an uncomfortable situation for what it is. Its when you accept your part and the other parties part and deal with them both honestly. FUCK IT! moments occur when you graduate from victim-hood, a mighty accomplishment! Its when one comes into ones own, embraces their personal power,and prepares oneself to embark out on something new, whatever it is. FUCK IT! moments don't always mean that one knows what is next, it just means that you are ready to find out. Its cosmic, magical, an epiphany of the best kind, FUCK IT!
I was let go, was it fair? HELL NO!!! HEEELLLLLLLL NOOOOOO!!!! But guess what, I refuse to play victim and I dedicate Hope She'll Be Happier by Bill Withers to my former boss even though I doubt they will. Life tests what your made of sometimes and I'm not made of paper, even though I do love writing. This is my test; I passed. There are no grades in life, there is just pass or fail. But if you pass, that means you move....You MOVE! Movement is progress, and progress is rewarded with better things. That is, if you can get passed the , "Woe is me", victim mentality And ooooohhhh baby, having to be financially uncomfortable through no fault of your own is a reason to be a victim, its also a reason to egg a house, or hit someone in the face, but none of those are good ideas either. Im not a victim, Im a student, and students learn. Trade in your fear!!!!! Make room for movement. Talk to a friend, eat a good meal, have a good cry, throw a tantrum, get IT, whatever it may be, out of your system, and then make room for the universe to MOVE you to something better. It will, trust me. Don't be afraid...trade in your fear for a FUCK IT! moment, they are good for the soul.
Chasitie Sharron Goodman, © 2013, All Rights Reserved
Its been a hell-u-va summer and not necessarily in a good way. Its been hot and I have been forced to sit my all-knowing ass down and learn a thing or two about myself. There were no papers to grade, no phone calls to make, no quick errand to run, no meeting to go to. My email has been pretty empty, my calendar has been empty and hell, honestly, my bank account has been too. But I was cool, i had a job, or so I thought. and hence, my story begins, and so do the "F" bombs.
I was a teacher, notice the word was, I was a damn good teacher too. I got up with the sun and went home when the sun when the sun went down.. I was dedicated and helped my students in life, it was really beyond test scores for me, I was concerned for my students and I LOVED my job. The thanks I got? I got notified that I was a now a non-entity at the school, via email.. email. Truthfully, I knew this was coming yet, I was still pissed, saddened, , and a lot of other emotions that I cant quite explain. I had pretty much spent my whole summer thinking about this situation. It was maddening! So finally, I with my moms reassurance, and my favorite radio show, The REMIX, showing me I wasn't alone, it happened. Yep, you guessed it folks, the FUCK IT! moment. Everyone deserves to have one.
I realized, after writing in my journal for three hours, that I had resigned sooo much of myself to auctioning off hours of my time for my bills to get paid., for a paycheck . I didn't realize that I was also auctioning away my dreams. With every paycheck that deposited I was investing more and more of myself into a reality where nothing else mattered in life as long as I could pay bills. So when that reality was taken, smh, I pawned my fear for a FUCK IT! moment.
FUCK IT! moments occur when you accept an uncomfortable situation for what it is. Its when you accept your part and the other parties part and deal with them both honestly. FUCK IT! moments occur when you graduate from victim-hood, a mighty accomplishment! Its when one comes into ones own, embraces their personal power,and prepares oneself to embark out on something new, whatever it is. FUCK IT! moments don't always mean that one knows what is next, it just means that you are ready to find out. Its cosmic, magical, an epiphany of the best kind, FUCK IT!
I was let go, was it fair? HELL NO!!! HEEELLLLLLLL NOOOOOO!!!! But guess what, I refuse to play victim and I dedicate Hope She'll Be Happier by Bill Withers to my former boss even though I doubt they will. Life tests what your made of sometimes and I'm not made of paper, even though I do love writing. This is my test; I passed. There are no grades in life, there is just pass or fail. But if you pass, that means you move....You MOVE! Movement is progress, and progress is rewarded with better things. That is, if you can get passed the , "Woe is me", victim mentality And ooooohhhh baby, having to be financially uncomfortable through no fault of your own is a reason to be a victim, its also a reason to egg a house, or hit someone in the face, but none of those are good ideas either. Im not a victim, Im a student, and students learn. Trade in your fear!!!!! Make room for movement. Talk to a friend, eat a good meal, have a good cry, throw a tantrum, get IT, whatever it may be, out of your system, and then make room for the universe to MOVE you to something better. It will, trust me. Don't be afraid...trade in your fear for a FUCK IT! moment, they are good for the soul.
Chasitie Sharron Goodman, © 2013, All Rights Reserved