Some people wish they could fly...I never really wanted to fly. I always imagine my arms getting really tired. Plus, birds in general kind of creep me out. Sure, they are beautiful in theory. I mean I look at eagles and tropical birds and think, "Wow, that's breathtaking". But, I wouldn't want to just chill out amongst birds. Not to mention that too much air can be suffocating. Ever stick your head out of a car window while someone else is driving? I have unsuccessfully attempted this many times; the incoming air is a tough competitor to my overall breathing process and is yet another reason why I do not think flying would be so much fun.
I love water though. A couple of years ago I had the honor of visiting South Africa. One of the places I visited while there was Durban. I stayed at a backpackers lounge that boasted having the Indian Ocean in its backyard. I can close my eyes at any moment and be back there, drifting off to sleep after being serenading by crashing waves. There are no words to describe this experience.
I was thinking about water today and what it means to me at the moment. As I sit, I am at the prime of my life, still new to life in so many ways, learning, making mistakes, accomplishing, setting goals, and replacing those goals with new ones. Life is exciting, and honestly, scary. America is all about the dream, "The American Dream", I believe its called. To achieve this dream, one has to be focused, educated, and somewhat rigid. But you see, that's like trying to fly to me...its exhausting and suffocating. There are times when I honestly don't know what I want to do next. Its like being at a buffet with an empty plate. I feel as if...I'm floating, like I'm back there in the Indian ocean amidst the crashing waves. Its scary, exhausting, and somehow, because I'm in my element, I know I am ok.
Because I have reached thirty, there are all of these creatures that make floating terrifying. Its like being in the calming waters and suddenly realizing that you are in the company of sharks and other scary things that want to eat you. There is the southern societal pressure to marry, procreate, buy a house, and settle down, as quickly as humanly possible. After all, as I had an extended family member remind me, time is ticking. But I realized, just this weekend, when I focused on the ticking, I forget to float, and when I forget to float, I drown.
I do not want to be afraid of water. Water cleanses, it purifies, it heals. When you are sad and your body needs to purge that emotion, healing waters cleanse your eyes for clearer visions, as they do when you are angry, frustrated, and sometimes even joyous. Over 70 percent of our brain is water and our bodies are mostly water. Water is all around us in our mothers wounds,only when the water breaks are we okay to make our debut outside of the womb. We were meant to float, and not be afraid.
I was reminded by someone close to me that there are times in life when we have to just accept being in the mystery. The mystery is where lessons are learned and opportunities are born. The mystery of life is like letting go of everything, conventions, traditions, expectations, blame,shame,and fear to float on water and except where ever it takes you. And so, I float, I float wherever this water takes me. Instead of letting paranoia sink me, I will close my eyes and enjoy the calming rocking of the water. I will let it all go, all of it, and be as peaceful as I was with the Indian Ocean crashing around outside my room.
Chasitie Sharron Goodman, © 2013, All Rights Reserved
I love water though. A couple of years ago I had the honor of visiting South Africa. One of the places I visited while there was Durban. I stayed at a backpackers lounge that boasted having the Indian Ocean in its backyard. I can close my eyes at any moment and be back there, drifting off to sleep after being serenading by crashing waves. There are no words to describe this experience.
I was thinking about water today and what it means to me at the moment. As I sit, I am at the prime of my life, still new to life in so many ways, learning, making mistakes, accomplishing, setting goals, and replacing those goals with new ones. Life is exciting, and honestly, scary. America is all about the dream, "The American Dream", I believe its called. To achieve this dream, one has to be focused, educated, and somewhat rigid. But you see, that's like trying to fly to me...its exhausting and suffocating. There are times when I honestly don't know what I want to do next. Its like being at a buffet with an empty plate. I feel as if...I'm floating, like I'm back there in the Indian ocean amidst the crashing waves. Its scary, exhausting, and somehow, because I'm in my element, I know I am ok.
Because I have reached thirty, there are all of these creatures that make floating terrifying. Its like being in the calming waters and suddenly realizing that you are in the company of sharks and other scary things that want to eat you. There is the southern societal pressure to marry, procreate, buy a house, and settle down, as quickly as humanly possible. After all, as I had an extended family member remind me, time is ticking. But I realized, just this weekend, when I focused on the ticking, I forget to float, and when I forget to float, I drown.
I do not want to be afraid of water. Water cleanses, it purifies, it heals. When you are sad and your body needs to purge that emotion, healing waters cleanse your eyes for clearer visions, as they do when you are angry, frustrated, and sometimes even joyous. Over 70 percent of our brain is water and our bodies are mostly water. Water is all around us in our mothers wounds,only when the water breaks are we okay to make our debut outside of the womb. We were meant to float, and not be afraid.
I was reminded by someone close to me that there are times in life when we have to just accept being in the mystery. The mystery is where lessons are learned and opportunities are born. The mystery of life is like letting go of everything, conventions, traditions, expectations, blame,shame,and fear to float on water and except where ever it takes you. And so, I float, I float wherever this water takes me. Instead of letting paranoia sink me, I will close my eyes and enjoy the calming rocking of the water. I will let it all go, all of it, and be as peaceful as I was with the Indian Ocean crashing around outside my room.
Chasitie Sharron Goodman, © 2013, All Rights Reserved